Why be grateful for people who judge you?

Until we awaken from our sleepwalking slumber party – the experience of life for many – we usually either indulge our judgements of other people as being right or wrong, good or bad (for example, acting them out through road rage and domestic violence), suppress them, or attempt to change and get rid of them.

And of course we tend to judge our judgements.

The truth is that all our efforts to change our judgements are the expression of a fundamental resistance to knowing reality that leads to the perpetuation of our judgments – because what we resist persists.


Now, at this point I want to be clear that if you are happy with your life the way it is, happy to continue to experience the contraction of pain that inevitably ensues when you identify with your judgements, please stop reading here. Because the rest of this article will be of no value to you. I have no desire to change you or your beliefs in any way. I truly wish you the best and happiest life possible.

But if you want to enjoy living free from emotional pain, free from the self-imposed limitations of an imagined mental prison that keeps you from the freedom of a deeply fulfilled and happy life – how about trying something radically different? How about giving thanks for the people and events that trigger your judgements?

Why give thanks?

Because when your judgements – which already exist in your deep mind – are triggered by a person or persons they come to the surface of your awareness.

And from here, from conscious awareness, you can allow them release, freeing you from the imagined mental prison and releasing you into a life of unlimited possibilities.

This is the core principle that I describe in much greater detail and depth in my book “Break Out of Your Mind – you are not who you ‘think’ you are …” The book is a simple, easy to read roadmap to living free – here and now – in this present moment.


How can you release your judgments?

  1. When you feel judged, locate that feeling sensation in your body. Notice if it has a size, shape, colour, or sound.
  2. Ask the feeling sensation what name it would like to be called. (this may sound strange but don’t try to “think” of a name but ask the feeling sensation itself and wait for the intuitive response)
  3. Notice the level of stress you are feeling and scale it where 0 = bliss bunny and 100 = hell on Earth.
  4. Pause and “be with” the feeling sensation.
  5. Take response-ability for your judgemental thoughts about the person and associated feeling sensation.
  6. Tell yourself the truth about your judgements, especially those politically incorrect judgements like “I want to kill you” and “I hate you” and “You are verminous scum” and so on. In other words all those thoughts that a “spiritual” or “nice” person often thinks they should not have (btw: notice the judgemental “should” in that sentence).
  7. Let your judgements be, allowing them to be exactly the way they are in this present moment, accepting them (i.e. unconditionally loving them) just they way they are without asking them to change in any way to deserve your unconditional love.
  8. Let your personality be, allowing your personality to be exactly the way it is in this present moment, accepting it (i.e. unconditionally loving it) just they way it is without asking it to change in any way to deserve your love.
  9. Pause.
  10. Holding the person or persons who triggered your judgement in awareness, speak, or silently think, “I love you, I love you, I love you” (btw: the power lies not in the words themselves but in the spirit of your intention, in the Heart-felt feeling that you imbue those words with – mere intellectual repetition will have zero effect).
  11. Pause.
  12. Speak, or silently think, “Thank you, thank you, thank you” (because whoever triggered your judgements, they have done you a great service by triggering the judgements that were already present in your deep mind, lifting them out of the darkness of unconsciousness and into the light of truth). You are saying, with deep Heart-felt sincerity, “Thank you for your gift of service“.
  13. Allow any images and/or memories to surface if they come naturally. Simply allow them to come … to stay … and to go.
  14. Notice any spontaneous changes to the feeling sensation in your body.
  15. Continue steps 6-14 until there remains only a feeling of “I am you and you are me” and all contracted feelings of separation, of non-love, have dissipated.
  16. Notice the level of stress you are feeling now and scale it where 0 = bliss bunny and 100 = hell on Earth.
  17. Pause, relax and restsavouring the release of stress, savouring the feeling of freedom.


Important points of understanding

  • Your judgements already exist in your deep mind. They were not created by the person who triggered them.
  • Freedom is only possible when you accept response-ability for your judgments.
  • Only ruthlessly telling yourself the unvarnished truth of your judgements can free you from the pain of contraction, the pain of non-love, because only the truth can make you free.
  • Telling yourself the truth lifts your judgements out of the darkness of unconsciousness and into the light of Consciousness. And because darkness disappears when light shines, so too do your judgments.
  • You, of yourself, can “do” nothing to set yourself free, for only Consciousness Itself has the power to do the work required to set you free from bondage, free from suffering.
  • Living from your judgements is living from the biblical “tree of knowledge of good and evil”. When you relinquish your judgements you will live from the tree of life, from blissful happiness.
  • The releasing process is not a mental technique but rather is the surrender of all your efforts to use your mind to become free from the pain that is, in reality, created by mind itself. It is an intuitive, feeling process powered by Consciousness Itself, our mutual Heart-Self, whose very nature is Divine beauty and power.


There is a price to pay for freedom

It is both the highest price any of us can pay and at the same time, paradoxically, costs nothing at all. Whichever way we look at it, it seems to be a price that many people are unwilling to pay.

The price is your sense of who you used to think you were; your imagined self-identity – which ultimately comes down to a fundamental error of perception in which you imagined yourself to be nothing more than a limited, vulnerable and separate body-mind-personality.

This error of self-perception is the underlying reason why so few people fully engage in a genuine spiritual practice or even a therapeutic process.

It is not that many such people “can’t” engage in the ever so simple practice of releasing but that they won’t.

Because of their mistaken perception of who and what they are, out of fear of no longer existing they choose to remain limited, choose to continue to suffer the ills of mis-identification. They choose to continue to fuel the myth of being a separate personality.

Such people are like the character in The Matrix movie who chooses the illusion of the matrix over the freedom of reality. They say to themselves, effectively, “I know this steak is an illusion but it sure tastes good”.

Freedom is simply a choice. A choice you can make only in this present moment.

Whatever you choose, please know that you will continue to be unconditionally loved. You will not be judged in any way if you choose the steak, because true freedom is unconditional love.

And if you choose freedom, not only will you not cease to exist, you will come to know your true Self as an inconceivably vast, timeless Being that Jesus called “The kIngdom of God” and Buddha called “Nirvana”.

You will know yourself as being immortal …

Click here to watch a video about the 6th edition of “Break Out of Your Mind – you are not who you think you are …”


Leo Searle Hawkins

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